Be easy on yourself.
Take it easy. Relax.
Have a good day.
Yet see the alternate universe.

I look in the mirror. A happy face looks back at me. It looks good to me.

And yet there's so much I'm not doing. There's a daily morning exercise I've been trying to do - a positive visualization of the future. It's just not working for me. My thoughts scatter in every direction. It's not that I have a gloomy feeling about the future. I just don't have any feeling. I'm feeling good in this moment - with so much undone.

I have the sense of having a stove with dozens of burners, and with stuff on many of them. I'm taking things off the burners. A couple of weeks ago, with help, I cleared a small room that's been used as a storage room for years. It still isn't set up, but it's bright and clear and clean, ready to be set up. The stuff that was in it is now in a couple of other places. About half has been put away. Maybe another 6 hours to go, maybe 10, sorting through things, putting them away well.

Is it a weakness to be easy on myself? Not to feel bad when I don't do something I had on my "Do Today" list? I don't know.

It's a glorious day outside, very early, not long after sunrise, the horizon still with a pink glow all around. March 21. Yesterday was the spring equinox, as I found out when it was almost over. Anyway, very early spring.

There are several things I want to get done today - including a long walk with the dog, plus some paperwork, plus . . .

I had an idea, this morning, about how to talk to people who don't see Islam as a threat. Maybe I could start with:

I live in an alternate universe. I see your universe. I walk in it. But everything there is kind of not quite solid.

And you, when you see me, see me either as one of yours, if you don't know I'm from an alternate universe, or you tend to brush away what I say. You may get angry. Most, you keep out what I say.

For me, it's like I'm behind a glass wall.

I used to live in your universe. One day a doorway opened up - an opening. I went through. At first, I just went a small distance in, looked around a bit. Everything was solid in this alternate universe. I could touch things, turn them over - except what rotten things came out when I did that.

More and more, the 2 universes came together. The new universe, and at the same time, the one I had lived in. But the old one was no longer solid. There were openings everywhere to the new one, the solid one.

Sometimes I try to reach you. I often feel like a ghost must feel, when it tries to reach the people it once knew. See me, see what I'm seeing. Look.

Maybe strangely, I don't feel despair or even frustration, writing those words. The thought is, in fact: maybe these words will reach them, those people who don't see Islam as dangerous, who don't see that it's dangerous to rage against people who disagree, who call unwanted truths "hate speech."

I know the situation is very serious. Journalists for freedom of speech are being kept out of Great Britain. White farmers are being murdered, for being white, in South Africa. On and on. Dog meat farms. 25 horses found starved to death, 100 in horrific condition.

But right now, inside me, a feeling of peace.

As always, all the best to all of us,

Elsa

March 21, 2018

Be easy on yourself.
Take it easy. Relax.
Have a good day.
Yet see the alternate universe.

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